


All Washed Out

by BehindTheRobinsMask



Series: Knowing you, loving you [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alpha Jason Todd, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Feels, Batkids Age Reversal, Battle for the Cowl, Confessions, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Difficult Decisions, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Omega Dick Grayson, True Mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:14:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26266303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindTheRobinsMask/pseuds/BehindTheRobinsMask
Summary: Batman is dead. He is dead and everything is about to change.Still grieving for his father, Jason Todd, his son and first sidekick, has no choice but to take up the mantle his alpha left behind, continue the legacy so that the streets of Gotham are always safe. Estranged from the family, Dick Grayson, the son who died, the son who came back all wrong, has decisions to make, ones that could change everything forever. A fire has been struck, one that is bound to spread and no one can survive unscathed.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Series: Knowing you, loving you [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908331
Comments: 10
Kudos: 172
Collections: JayDick Summer Exchange 2020





	All Washed Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stribird (timidGoddess)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/timidGoddess/gifts).



> Dear receiver, 
> 
> Bless you for all the amazing prompts that you have given us for this exchange. Everything is so intriguing and when I first read this one, I had so many, many ideas until I finally settled on the one I think would work the best. So here we are. I hope you enjoy the fic!

They had a small ceremony for Bruce on a weekday. Only a few people knew of this because, for the world, Gotham’s philanthropist playboy was partying somewhere in another country, drinking booze, making love and living his best life. The plan was simple, while Lucius managed the company, they would release doctored images of Bruce having a good time. Eventually, maybe a month or so later, they would drop the news that he had met with an unfortunate accident, one that he did not survive. There would be another funeral then, just for the show. Until then, Jason would take up the mantle of Batman and maybe for a little while after. This way, there wouldn’t be any suspicion.

  
Sitting away from the people who had gathered to say goodbye to Bruce, Jason took a sip of his beer, grimacing when the warm liquid hit his throat. He hated the situation he was in. He hated the event that led to it all. His father, his alpha, was dead and the only thing he could do was to accept reality. The only thing he could do was pretend that Bruce was still alive even though he knew the truth. If things weren’t bad enough, now he had to fill in Batman’s shoes, be the so-called dark crusader that Gotham loved and feared in equal measures. Jason wasn’t built for this job. There was a reason why he left home, why he chose to be Nightwing. It was because he never wanted to be Batman. He never wanted to end up like Bruce. While his alpha wasn’t a bad person, he was lonely, so very lonely and even though he had tried to avoid the mistakes that Bruce had felt, Jason felt closer to him than ever. 

  
What a fucking mess. 

  
“How’re you holding up, Jaybird?” Roy asked, settling down beside Jason.  
  


Sighing because of his friend’s question, Jason rubbed his eyes, not knowing how to answer because, with every day that passed, he felt more and more at loss.   
  


“The pack is falling apart,” he finally admitted. “Tim refuses to believe that Bruce is gone. He’s adamant about finding him alive.”  
  


Tim was always a smart and dedicated kid. Since he didn’t have the experience that Jason had when he first became Robin, he had worked hard, pushed himself day and night to be worthy of the title that had been given to him. Under Bruce’s watchful gaze, he had built himself up from scratch which is why he always had such a strong connection to the alpha. Bruce’s loss had hit Tim as hard as everyone else, if not more. Jason could see why he was in denial but he didn’t know what he could say to convince his brother that their father was gone. There was no bringing back Bruce. All he could do was let Tim go, all he could do was have some faith in the young alpha’s intuition. Maybe he would find something. Maybe he would return empty-handed. None of that mattered as long as Tim came home. 

  
“Damian just… disappeared. The last time I managed to track him down, he was in Bludhaven which means he’s looking for… him,” Jason bit out, annoyed by the actions their youngest pack member had taken.   
  


“He’s just a pup,” Roy sighed, running his fingers through his hair. “He’s just going to the one person who can comfort him during this time. We can’t blame him for that.”  
  


“I know. I just wish he would have said something,” Jason said, his grip on the beer bottle tightening.   
  


Damian’s upbringing had been different from Tim and Jason’s. While the two of them had grown up in an all-alpha environment, Damian had grown up among omegas who doted on him and nurtured him, treating him like the little prince he was led to believe he was. And among all his caretakers was the one omega he was the most attached to, the one who saw him for the brat he really was: Dick Grayson. The boy who was once Robin. The boy who died. And the boy who came back to life all wrong.   
  


“Does Dick know what happened?” Roy asked, his voice low and lips pressed into a thin line. There was a time when the young omega used to be a close friend of Roy’s, both of them bonding over their secondary nature. There weren’t many omegas who ran around as vigilantes and even if there were, they never let anyone know, finding it easier to pass themselves off as betas.   
  


“I don’t know. I couldn’t get in touch with him.” Jason shrugged, the answer leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. “Tim and I never had much of a connection with him anyway. Damian will tell him.”  
  


Chewing on his lower lip, Roy glanced at Jason and looked away. He looked like he had something to say.   
  


“You know that isn’t true, Jay,” he finally spoke, his voice a whisper. “You had a connection with Dick, a connection that we all envied so much.”  
  


Swallowing what was left of his beer, Jason got up, his mood only worse as he was forced to remember the past. There was a time when Jason would have done anything for Dick, a time when they were always together. Now, they could barely stand being in the same room as each other.   
  


“Yeah, well, that was before he died,” Jason said before walking away.   
  


Now, he would rather forget that Dick Grayson, his fated mate, had rejected him. 

*******

Sitting on the edge of the rooftop, the Red Hood swung his feet like a merry little child, a box of doughnuts open beside him as his eyes took in Bludhaven in all its night-time glory. From a distance, everything seemed to calm, so peaceful. It was only when one looked closely that they could see the cracks in the city’s little facade. If Gotham was bad, Bludhaven was a hellhole, a filthy, _filthy_ hellhole and that was exactly why Dick adored the city. He fit in oh so perfectly with the broken and damned citizens that roamed the streets.   
  


Licking the sugar from his fingertips, Dick picked up the box, turned and held it out for his visitor hiding in the shadows.   
  


“Best doughnuts you’ll ever have,” he said, a smile dancing on his lips. When there was no response, he shrugged and turned away. “Your loss.”  
  


After a few minutes of silence, of contemplation, Damian finally stepped into the light, only wearing enough armour to keep him safe. It seemed that he had left the cave in a hurry. Something had happened but Dick wouldn’t push for answers. He knew Damian better than anyone so he would give the pup some time to collect his thoughts and share when he was ready to.   
  


“Father is…” Damian started, his voice faltering as he stared at the ground. “He is gone.”  
  


Not really understanding the meaning behind Damian’s words, Dick shifted so that he could hug the pup, “Come,” he ordered, spreading his arms. Without so much as batting an eyelid, Damian was rushing forward, burying his face in the crook of the omega’s neck as Dick’s rubbed his back.   
  


Silent sobs shook Damian’s little body as he curled up in Dick’s arms, shivering and trembling, a sight that the omega had only seen once. His pup had always been so cold, so authoritative since the day they had met, barely ever showing his real feelings because he had been taught that emotions were a sign of weakness. Dick was the only person he had ever opened up to, the only person who knew the real him. And the last time Damian had cried this way, it was when Dick had decided to leave Nanda Parbat to commence the plan that he had been training for.   
  


“Hood,” he finally breathed, calming down a bit. “Father is dead.”  
  


When the words first hit his ears, Dick stared at the pup in his arms, his mind shutting down, refusing to register what he had just heard. It was true that he never had a good relationship with Bruce, especially after their inevitable falling out but Dick still considered him his alpha, his father. Considering the kind of person his alpha was, he had just assumed that Batman would always be around. He had assumed that Batman would live forever, even if the rest of them didn’t.   
  


“When did this happen?” Dick asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.   
  


Sniffling, Damian gripped his leather jacket, “Two weeks ago.”  
  


“Tell me everything.”  
  


Nodding his head, Damian settled down and then slowly, he filled Dick in on everything he had missed since he left Gotham. After being kicked out by Bruce, he never felt the need to go back. He never felt the need to keep in touch with anyone except for Damian because who apart from his pup really cared for him? Whenever he saw Nightwing or Red Robin, all they ever did was lecture him about how his methods were wrong and how he, as an omega, should be more careful. The latter mostly coming from Nightwing. Though Dick knew Jason would never say those words to another omega, respecting them way too much. It was just that when it came to him, the alpha’s judgement was clouded, his overprotective instincts always kicking in.   
  


“So, Jason is going to be Batman?” Dick hummed, the wheels in his head already turning.   
  


Bothered by his tone, Damian raised his brows, “I hope you’re not planning anything stupid, Grayson.”  
  


“Aww, baby bat, ye have little faith.” Dick grinned as he shoved a sugar covered doughnut in Damian’s mouth. “I just want to go home and see how my pack is doing.”

*******

As music pounded in the club, Jason sighed knowing that by the end of the night, he was going to have a headache. Lack of sleep mixed with flashing lights and a deep bass was bound to do that. While he would have loved to stay at home, maybe read a good book while drinking tea, he couldn’t. Not when he was working an important case. Recently, a beta had disappeared from this very club without so much as a trace. Since there had been similar cases in the past, not too many to raise suspicion but enough for him to connect the dots, Jason knew this wasn’t an isolated incident. People dismissed these cases because the perpetrator’s target was betas.   
  


_“This is going to be a long night, isn’t it?”_ Roy asked through the comms. Since Tim and Damian were yet to come back home, Barbara had decided that someone had to have Jason’s back. So, Red Arrow stuck around. Jason was partly annoyed and partly grateful.   
  


Sighing, Jason was about to answer when his body stiffened, all his senses tingling. There was a scent in the air, one that made him shiver, one that made him drool, a scent so sharp but so gentle that it wrapped around him like a cocoon, caressing and suffocating him at the same time. Every time he inhaled, it filled his system like a drug. Every time he exhaled, it stuck to the roof of his mouth so it was all he could taste. And it was a scent that he recognized all too well.   
  


But Jason wasn’t the only one in the room who had their eyes on the omega who dared to roam around without scent blockers. Clenching his fists, he grit his teeth, trying to hold back the urge to attack anyone who looked at what belonged to him in the wrong way.   
  


_“Jay… are you seeing this?”_ Roy asked and a growl vibrated in the back of Jason’s throat.   
  


“I do,” he snapped, his eyes trained on the omega dancing freely in the middle of the floor.   
  


Dick _fucking_ Grayson.  
  


With his eyes closed and head thrown back, Dick didn’t even have to pretend to enjoy himself. As he danced, it was almost as if the song was made for him, as if every song in the world was written just for him. Every sway of his hip, every little body roll, the tiniest of movement, it was all so graceful that you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. And Jason’s wolf howled because Dick was his. He belonged to Jason.  
  


Pushing past the crowd, Jason made his way over to Dick who was now watching him, lips pulled into a playful smile as he held out his hand. Their fingers intertwined and Jason forgot what it was like to breathe when Dick pressed against him. Soon, he was scenting Jason, nuzzling his nose against the alpha’s neck and Jason felt like he could melt. He felt like he could just disappear in the omega’s embrace without any regrets. He was intoxicated. He was overwhelmed. He was so in love with Dick Grayson that he almost hated himself.   
  


Feeling Dick’s breath on his skin, Jason licked his lips as the omega leaned in, his mouth so close yet so far away. Unable to stop himself, he let his fingers travel down Dick’s back, tracing its curve until he reached his plump little ass, the one that everyone spoke so highly of. The action seemed to please Dick very much as his smile widened. As they held each other, basking in the moment, everyone else just faded away, the people, the music, everything. Jason wished time would stop. He wished that the past few years had never happened and that Dick had always been his. That had always been Dick’s.   
  


But then, seeing them together and getting funny ideas, an alpha stepped towards them, his grubby fingers reaching out to touch Dick. Pulling the omega even deeper into himself, Jason growled, baring his teeth and daring anyone to even look at them, let alone approach them. Thankfully, the alpha got the message as he backed off.   
  


If he had been drunk on Dick’s scent before, now Jason’s mind had begun to clear, his thoughts screaming loudly, demanding that he make the omega his and demanding that he stay away from him at the same time.   
  


“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jason demanded, pulling Dick out of the club.   
  


Tilting his head in an attempt to present himself as innocent, Dick just batted his eyes, “Me? I was just dancing, _Jay._ ”  
  


Inhaling deeply, Jason resisted the urge to shudder as his name rolled off Dick’s tongue. He resisted the urge to kiss him and take him right then and there in the back alley, hands pressed against the wall, back bent as he sunk in so deep that all of Dick’s pretences would be shattered. He would be honest. He would be true. He would never run away from Jason again. And that in itself would be the wrong thing to do because while Jason’s alpha had needs, desires that fuelled his actions, he also knew that Dick Grayson, the person, needed his freedom as badly as he needed to breathe.   
  


“What are you doing in Gotham?” Jason asked again, caging Dick against a wall.   
  


“I was feeling homesick so I thought I’d drop by.” Dick grinned, letting his fingers run over the muscles of Jason’s right arm, squeezing his bicep and raising an appreciative brow. “What about you? Heard daddy bit the dust and had to party?”  
  


“Dick,” Jason warned as his lips pulled into a frown.   
  


“No. Don’t be angry with me, Jay,” Dick whispered, his earlier bravado gone as, for once, he was honest about what he was feeling. “Despite everything that happened, Bruce was my alpha. Even if he didn’t see me as family anymore.”  
  


“That’s not..” Jason started, his own heart trembling. He was so used to Dick’s playful and sarcastic nature that he sometimes forgot that the omega had a hard time expressing his feelings, especially when it came to Bruce. The two of them had a complicated history, one that had shaped Dick’s personality, made him who he was today. Even if he was angry with Bruce, even if he at times hated him, he would still feel the pain of his loss. “You were important to Bruce, the first omega he ever took in. Don’t you ever think otherwise.”  
  


“You say that but then, unlike the rest of you, I never got a personalized little message, now, did I?” Dick snorted but there was pain in his blue eyes. “Hell, no one even told me that Bruce died.”  
  


“In my defence, I didn’t know how to get in touch with you,” Jason said.  
  


It was then that Dick smiled, a smile so sad that it was almost heartbreaking. Dick Grayson should never be sad. That was unacceptable.   
  


“Even if you could, would you?” he asked and Jason’s breath was caught in this throat.   
  


He stared down at the ground, fingers twitching and flexing as he tried to shake the feeling of unease. If he knew how to get in touch with Dick, would he have done so or would he have just waited for Damian to find the omega?  
  


“Do you hate me now, Jay?” Dick asked, his voice low.   
  


Jason’s eyes snapped to Dick’s face and he shook his head because no, he didn’t hate Dick. He could never hate him.   
  


“Then, why do you run away from me?” he continued, shifting a little closer to Jason. “Am I not meant to be your mate? Or is there someone else you like? Someone more traditional? Someone who would never end up like me?”  
  


“You know that’s not it,” Jason finally spoke. “You know I’m in love with you, so madly in love with you.”  
  


“Then kiss me.”  
  


Jason did.   
  


At first, their lips brushed together, soft and gentle, reminding Jason of simpler days, days when he could just lie down next to Dick and stare at the sky, days when they could laugh and hold one another without the weight of the future bearing down on them. Then, they were kissing deeply, tongues dancing together, fingers roaming, bringing Jason back to reality, reminding him that their ideals were much too different, their desires were always bound to clash and tear them apart. Things were so complicated now, so unnecessarily complicated even though all he wanted to do was take his lost omega back home.   
  


“Jay,” Dick whispered, his eyes hooded as he went on his tiptoes for another kiss. Then one more and more.  
  


Their bodies pressed together. They turned. Jason’s back pressed to the wall. Something cold clicked around his wrist and with one snap, the moment was over.   
  


“What the fuck?!” Jason demanded, seething with anger as he shook his arm that had been handcuffed to a pipe.   
  


“Oh, don’t be so angry, Jay,” Dick said, a playful kick to his steps as he moved back. “You’ll be out of that in no time!”  
  


“Dick--” Jason started but the omega just shook his head.  
  


“For the record, Jay,” he whispered, pain flickering across his face. “I meant every word I said.”  
  


Then, he was gone, grappling out of sight. 

*******

The next day, they found an alpha in the same back alley, beaten half to death. The GPD had received enough evidence to prove that he had been the one taking betas from the club.   
  


Jason didn’t know how to react or how to feel. While he was glad the case had been sorted out, that the streets would be safer, he couldn’t help but feel sad. Dick had been in his arms, he had been his even if it was for a few minutes and in the end, Jason had let him slip away once again. 

*******

Perched next to Jason’s favourite gargoyle, Dick took off his helmet and then took in a deep breath. The air here was fresh, at least compared to Bludhaven. And it was almost addictive in a sense because those who left Gotham, somehow always ended up coming back. It was in this city that Dick got his new start, a new pack where he was sure he could belong. That was until he grew up to be an omega and Bruce no longer had any use for him.   
  


_“I don’t think he can continue to be Robin.”  
  
_

Bruce probably didn’t know it but Dick had heard every single thing he had said when his first heat came around. His father, the man he looked up to, had decided that his secondary gender decided his worth, decided whether he could be strong or weak. Despite knowing that Robin was the lifeline that Dick needed to survive, Bruce wanted to take it away from him, probably imprison him in his room and break him until he was a good little omega, obedient and docile. Dick would never let that happen to himself so he decided he would prove his worth. Show everyone what he could do. And then, he died.   
  


He never really blamed Bruce for his death. No one else could be held accountable for the decisions that Dick had made. The thing that pissed him off, the thing that made him hate the world was that not only was Dick’s killer running free, well and alive, but Bruce had also taken in a new Robin who was an alpha, just like he had always wanted. 

  
Letting his head fall back as a cool wind blew, Dick closed his eyes, remembering all the possessive alphas that had tried to claim him, the ones that had tried to bite his neck and chain him down to them. That was one of the drawbacks of being open about his secondary gender, a drawback that Jason had warned him about time and again. But man, Dick did enjoy beating down everyone who tried to even touch him. While he was a free bird, refusing to be claimed, refusing to settle, there was only one person he wanted. His mate. His Jason. Even if they hadn’t been fated, Dick would only ever want him.  
  


But he would never let Jason bite him. He would never let anyone do that to him.   
  


Under the thumb of alphas, Dick had suffered. He had fought and struggled to prove his worth, to be something more than what that categorized him as. So, how was he supposed to just give in to one and change everything he stood for? There was no doubt that the dynamic between him and Jason would change the moment they were bonded. Instead of a vigilante, Dick would be reduced to a helpless little omega who needed to stay at home and give Jason lots of pups. While Jason was different from most alphas, that underlying need for a family, that could never go away. And family was much too important for Jason.   
  


Maybe there was a time when Dick wanted the same, a permanent home, a white picket fence and swing set, the pitter-patter of small feets, children that would be a symbol of their love. But death changed people, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. Dick wasn’t sure which category he fell in but what he did know was that he didn’t want pups. No matter what his omega would cry during heats, this feeling, it wouldn’t change.   
  


“Like what you see?” Dick asked, eyes lighting up with excitement as Nightwings black and blue suit came into sight.   
  


Settling down beside Dick, close enough that his heat could be felt but not enough for their shoulders to touch, Jason stared ahead.   
  


“You should come home,” he finally said. “You should come back to the pack.”  
  


“Day drinking are you?” Dick snorted, shaking his head. There was no way that he would be accepted back so easily.   
  


“I know that you’ve stopped killing. That you don’t use lethal rounds anymore… not as much anyway,” Jason started, his tone so serious that Dick had to sober up. “And kicking you out, I never agreed with that decision. It wasn’t the right call.”  
  


Dick mock-gasped, “Bruce’s golden boy didn’t agree with his decision? How can this ever be?”  
  


“Dick, please,” Jason sighed exasperatedly.  
  


Smiling, Dick leaned his head on Jason’s shoulder. Oh, his alpha was just so good to him, so gentle, so patient. Dick simply did not deserve him which is why it was time to let him go.   
  


“Do you want to know why Bruce kicked me out?” Dick asked, cupping Jason’s face, taking in every detail because he never wanted to forget.   
  


“Because you were killing criminals?” Jason answered, a bit unsure now.   
  


“Oh, Jay. I love you so much,” Dick whispered, leaning his head against Jason’s. “But I wish it was enough.”  
  


“Dick?” Jason called out.   
  


“Bruce kicked me out because I made sure that I could never have children,” Dick finally confessed, letting go of the secret he had held onto for so long.   
  


And the look of absolute betrayal that twisted Jason’s face was enough to let him know that they were truly over. 

*******   
  


Locking the door behind him, Dick took off his helmet, put away his domino mask and burst into tears, loud sobs, the painful kind that made breathing painful escaped his lips as he fell to his knees, his heartbreaking and mending and breaking all over again. His wolf howled and whined, clawed and bared its teeth, demanding that he go back to his mate, demanding that he fix what he had broken. But he couldn’t, even if he wanted to, he could never be Jason’s. He could never give his mate what he truly wanted.   
  


Dick didn’t regret the choices he had made. And knew that there would never come a day when he would miss the warmth of a pup. For him, Damian was enough. Dick had brought him up in Talia’s absence, cared for him and nurtured him, ensured that he didn’t grow up to be an absolute prick like his grandfather. He had done his part, lived the traditional omega life. But no more. Never again  
  


Now, Jason could let go of him. Jason could finally reject Dick and move on with someone else, someone who actually deserved him. The very thought of it hurt. The very thought of it made Dick want to curl up and disappear. But this was the right thing to do. Letting Jason go was the right thing to do.   
  


_“You didn’t come all the way to Gotham to break Jason’s heart, did you, Dick?”_ His comms crackled as Barbara spoke, her voice sympathetic yet suspicious.   
  


“And what makes you so sure, beautiful?” Dick asked, wiping away his tears and smiling his signature smile even though he knew he couldn’t be seen. Every day, before settling in, he checked for bugs, anything that Oracle could use to keep an eye on him. “Maybe I just wanted to do the right thing. I let him go so he can be happy.”  
  


 _“What about you? Don’t you deserve to be happy?”_ she asked, being the worried friend that she always was.   
  


“You know my happiness doesn’t lie in domestic bliss.” Dick chuckled, slowly stripping out of his armour.   
  


_“Dick, please, don’t do something stupid. Just come home.”  
  
_

Dick opened his closet and smiled, “You worry too much, Babs,” he said before taking off the communicator and crushing it.   
  


Taking in a deep breath, he let his fingers roam across the new suit he had designed, the one that he had hidden away from some time now. After hearing that Bruce had passed away, there was much that Dick needed to think about, much that he needed to do. The first thing was to let Jason go, to give him a real shot at happiness. And the second? That was the thing that made his heart race.  
  


Pulling out the black cowl from his closet, Dick carefully put it on, looking at himself in the mirror.   
  


It was time to give Gotham the Batman it truly deserved.

**Author's Note:**

> Initially, I was really confused with what I wanted this story to be. There were so many things I wanted to do and I couldn't find a way to connect them all. Then I heard a song (it's always a song) that had me going "Oh? Oh! OH!" and everything just kind of fell into place. While this was just going to be one long fic, the ideas kept piling and while I wasn't looking, someone tipped over the whole bucket of angst. I don't know what happened. But now I have a series on my hand. Oh well.


End file.
